Every.single.time.

I say something remotely a little more ‘flirtatious’ than expected, and you completely ignore me until a certain point where you feel it’s okay to respond again and pretend like nothing happened. Um, sorry, but maybe I wasn’t flirting. 

Ugh. 

Life can be cruel. I just hate how people and everything just pile up and fuck us over. It’s not my fault that I’m a bitter douchebag. I try to be a nicer person, someone more welcoming. But I am a fuck up and nothing will change that. Fuck. 

I totally fucked up. 

Things might not be so complicated.

But I’m a coward, so I think I just blew it.

So I finally confronted him (through text :$) about how uncomfortable and confused I am because of his actions/words that one would normally do if they were in a relationship with someone. But in the end, he said that he’ll wait for me because he really does love me. :<

I told him I just need some time to ‘adjust’, and at the moment I didn’t really know what I meant. But I sat thinking for a while, and realized that maybe I do know. I believe that my adjustment is just finding myself again, and not being so afraid of committing to another relationship. I know that things can never be perfect, but he’s the closest thing to perfection right now. I just need to be the best person I can possibly be, so that if things ever do finally spark up between the two of us (where we are actually official), I won’t ever hurt him and he will never regret having me as such a big part of his life.

I’ve never been asked to be a date. Ohmygaaaah what is this?! Harry Potter date HAHAH